<font color=ffffff>You try to be the white text guy, but fail to be the white text guy. No one can be the white text guy except for the white text guy. The white text guy is known as Doc Scratch.</font>
And he's a massive piece of shit. Not literally, of course.
<font color=ffffff>He's currently in his green living room inside of the Mansion, surrounded by his green wallpaper, green furniture, green fireplace, green fire and his oh-so-precious scrapbook of memories.</font>
<font color=ffffff>He's hard at work, adding more to it, delicately recording the events of Homestuck for posterity's sake, and for the audience. What a swell guy!</font>
And that's where jij comes in, that is to say, where you come in. Literally, a green tear in Paradox Space that quickly disappears after depositing you right in front of his fireplace, shattering his concentration, and surprising him. He clearly did not see you coming.
